What a year 2012 was for me! Divorce was never an option to me or so I thought. Scott and I have a better friendship now than when we were married. We had a good talk last Tuesday about how we are handling things with the kids and how we see our individual lives going in 2013. For now, I have made some HUGE changes in my lifestyle. I used to be an avid church goer of the LDS(or Mormon) faith. I'm not going, as of now, because there are some things I don't agree with within the church. I won't get into here but until I'm either a 100% believer of the faith or not, I'm doing some research into whether or not I still want to be a member. So, that being said, I had my first drink a couple of months ago. Meh, beer tastes like crap honestly. I don't really see the big deal other than it helping you relax a bit and unwind from a stressful day. I also smoked my first cig and seriously wanted to vomit!!! lol Never again thank you ma'am!
The biggest change in my life is my boyfriend, Alex. We met at work. I did NOT want to have a boyfriend at the time because I was still figuring myself out but, o course, God usually has other plans for me:)) I was working a double that day. 14 hours I believe because I was working the next day otherwise it would've been a 16 hour day at work. Either way, I was starting to feel it by the end of first shift. As I was switching shifts and getting report about my residents for the night, I was told I was gonna train someone. I was excited until I learned it was Alex. Now, the reason I didn't want to train him was because I could feel an attraction toward him and thought there was no way I was gonna get involved with someone, especially at work. Welp, as life would have it, we clicked instantly and I surprised myself by telling him a deep secret that I've really only told a few people. I went home that night, thinking why would you tell that boy about yourself? And seriously a deep secret?!?!?! But we both couldn't deny the feelings we had toward one another. So, we texted and talked on the phone for a couple of weeks until there came another day when I was working another double. It was actually a shift we traded so he promised to text me all night to help keep me awake. It had been an awful night at work so I was eager to go home. But, to my surprise, Alex didn't know if I wanted to chill at his place and watch a movie. I couldn't say no.:) We were watching Inception and actually did the whole scooting-closer-to-you moves until I decided to ask him a bold question.....why couldn't he look me in the eye? He never really did which I thought odd. So, obviously, he did and then asked me a question. He asked if he could kiss me. I think we all know I said yes. :)) We've been inseparable ever since. He makes me laugh and cares about me and I couldn't tell you enough of how good it feels to feel like someone loves me for me.
The boys are really being great about Alex and actually Scott's girlfriend too. They love Alex and he really enjoys them too. Aaron is just growing up by the minute. He reads too can you believe that?!?!?! He's had 4 root canals and lost 4 teeth. Yeah. 4 root canals. My brave boy. Now I'm really trying to limit his sugar intake. William is advancing in preschool. He's actually reading a few words cuz he wants to be like his big brother. So cute to see how much he looks up to Aaron. Aaron(for the most part)is a great older brother. My boys are truly 2 of my greatest treasures in this life.
So, all in all, life in 2013 has been good so far. But, if it gets bad, you know I'm gonna dust off the dirt and get right back up again.
3 comments:
I love you Leah :) I am so glad to hear that you are happy and that you found someone who loves you! I hope you find the answers you need to help you make the most informed choices possible, and I hope that 2013 is so good to you!
Your boys are certainly great treasures, and I'm glad they are apparently dealing with the changes well. Sounds like you and Scott are working out the details well and that is just what the boys need.
As for the church; I have taught my Y.W, that everyone doubts at some point in their lives, but the only way through it is to keep going. Keep praying and keep reading the scriptures. Stopping only reinforces the doubts. Did something happen around your divorce to cause this feeling of not agreeing with everything?
I always told my boys, the church is true but people are not perfect. Sometimes people interpret the teachings in such a way, or just fail in such a way, that they really offend us or let us down.
I'm glad to hear you don't like beer or cigarettes and apparently did not get nicotine addicted on the first smoke like some people do. Still, have you evaluated how you will feel in a few years when you hear your sons have done the same things? Just thinking on the screen.
I was going to say "just thinking aloud" but I'm writing, so "just thinking on paper..." does that make me an old fogy?
Leah I like you. I want you to be happy, truly no-regrets kind of happy, today and tomorrow and ten years from now and when your boys are all grown up and you can look back and know you did the best you knew how.
Thank you Laura!! Miss you girly!!
Thank you Lynn for your positive feedback. I've been hiding how I've felt about certain things about church because, unfortunately, I had been living up to what I thought other people wanted of me. When Scott and I were separated, I realized this sad fact and honestly, I'm tired of feeling that if I'm not the perfect person the church expects of me, that I'm no good. It's time I find out if I have my very own testimony or not. I've just never been one to only be 25, 50 or even 99% sure of something important. I need to know for myself and to do it the way I want. I do believe that I have a Heavenly Father. I'll never doubt that but as for whether or not the church is true, I'm still working on it. And I love that you said just thinking on screen! lol I put just typing out loud but I like yours better.
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